my side

I am awake

I am breathing 

I am aware I'm alive 

I realize the darkness was merely lies

consumed by pain, 

weighted down and drowning 

unable to hold my head up above the waters of my own design, my inventions 

so cold the water was as it slipped over me... as I was pulled under by the force of waves, (guilt, grief, pleasure, and pain.)

I felt them crashing all about me. I felt tossed and turned unaware of which was north which was south... no stars could be found to guide me... 

I longed for the approaching unconsciousness to clam me. 

but then from somewhere... an arm pulled me out of the clutches of the deep.

strength that made me forget the coldness of wishing for death. 

love that made me forget fear

as you took my hand, you pulled me from the depths of madness... you saved me from the pain I'd cherished for so long... 

you made the negative intentions I intended unnecessary,  surrounding  

me with a light so brilliant there was no denying who you actually were. 

and I saw at no time in this journey to you ...I hadn't been traveling alone... you were there... 

always and always right there right here 

 by my side